Today, I read a Facebook post How "Spoiled Is Your Child?" I am still looking for the perfect upbringing of children. I never want to do the same as my parents did because they were just too busy. In my own mistakes, I blamed them often and said to myself that I would never do that with my children.
Regardless of my wishes, I did do the same acts. I then reproached myself and was blamed for the fact that I didn't do what was written in the books; not as I wanted to do them. This is probably the scourge of our society with there being too many theories. Psychologists Makarenko and Sigmund Freud say that all problems come from childhood, and they are right to some extent. We can say after reading such works "Yes, that's the reason. All of our parents are guilty, and we cannot change anything". We can spend the rest of our lives accusing our parents and their incorrect education. Then in a spirited mood, educate our own children by passing on to them our attitude about parenting while accusing our children also. So, going back to the post about spoiling, I was surprised to find that while we think that we are not giving the child enough, we are also suffering with a conscience about how bad of a parent we are. We can pamper a child by giving them attention, money, a clean home, and constant care, but he grows up to be selfish and always unhappy. The worst thing is that child is growing up unhappy because the unhappy mother gives him her feelings and an understanding that something is constantly missing, yet having everything for happiness. And then, when the children grow up, we start to educate them again, but by that time it's too late.
So, the conclusion for today is:
- Live your life, rejoice, and do something except homework
- Give your child the best possible experience and knowledge
- As your kids are growing up, custom them to independence
- Do not let go of your hands, and do not lose heart. This is bad for you and the child because the child "reads" or uses this pattern of behavior.
- Strive for the ideal, but remember that we will never be ideal.
- Appreciate and respect yourself and your household.
Author: Svetlana Bozhieva
Child Psychologist