From time to time we ask ourselves such questions. Do we not? You have probably yourself searched for answers on this subject. Perhaps you've looked for advice through the Internet, or sought it from your girlfriends, from relatives, friends, psychologists, or even various experts. Each person's opinion will most likely be indistinguishable from the rest! Some say that children need to be taught, instructed, directed, strictly monitored after rules have been implemented – these same are, in a way, correct. Others say – you need to give maximum freedom to them, they themselves know what it is they need, and what they do not – these are also right in a way. But if you take into account the first option, and what its natural byproducts are, you will find fromit that...
1. The child can begin to live someone else's life, most likely not listening to his own desires, or dreams, ultimately being deprived of what he truly wants. Thereafter being left to become something resembling that of janitor.
2. The child (especially a teenager) may rebel and not do what the adults ask, simply by spite, even if he understands perfectly well that his behavior will not do him good. He may possibly end up with a ruined life.
As you can see, these are both negative. In the second case, if the child is allowed to do everything, two possible variants of are foreseen:
1. The child may not understand what is acceptable and unacceptable, and may break the boundaries of socially acceptable behavior. The child may become “spoiled” if left alone to fulfill all the whims of his own heart. This is a possibility if you allow TV, Internet, and sweets to be unrestricted.
2. If the child has good examples though, what he sees, he will become – this regards parents, teachers, and people he likes. The child will naturally aspire to imitate these in his or her early childhood, and in adolescence follow the dreams and aspirations began long before. As a consequence, the child does not need to be constantly persuaded and guided, he knows what he wants and he does everything himself, and to his own liking.
So, in order to be a good mother, you do not need to know all the scientific theories about upbringing, worrying about things that may not have been done. Here is a simple rule - with love, good examples, correction, and choice giving, live with your children, enjoy life together while loving them immensely. You'd be surprised to find that this does not happen often!
And, of course, do not neglect who you are yourself, for we are our children's greatest examples.
Author: Svetlana Bozhieva